We’re dedicating the month of April to mental fitness. Every Sunday, we’ll be releasing a new feature designed to help you strengthen the power of your mind with Klay S. Williams (@planawithklay) a transformational change agent, author and podcast host who specializes in courageous wellness conversations in the media and corporate spaces. Our topics include: how to manifest a breakthrough moment, overcoming the unexpected, discovering the hidden benefits of meditation, and conquering self-limiting beliefs. First up: manifesting a breakthrough moment.
How To Manifest A Breakthrough Moment
We all have that one (or maybe more) thing(s) that we theoretically want to change in our lives. Maybe you’re unhappy in your job and you dream of switching careers. Or maybe you’ve been wanting to lose 20 pounds for well over a year now. Or just maybe it’s that you’ve been feeling ready for a romantic partner in your life.
Wanting any of those things is one thing. Actually deciding that you will go after it is an entirely different thing. And it’s the latter that exemplifies a “breakthrough moment,” according to Klay. “It’s being able to have that download in your mind that you want something different for yourself.” Once you have that goal in your mind and in your heart, you can begin to manifest it.
Start with what comes naturally.
“People who are uncomfortable with change want to have this breakthrough moment, but they’re not willing to shift their mindset, their experiences, or to get out of their comfort zone in order to be able to create that shift,” says Klay.
The good news is that you don’t have to push yourself to the furthest edges of discomfort on day one. In fact Klay advises starting with what comes easy for you.
For example, let’s say you want to lose 20 pounds. Cutting calories is one of the most obvious ways to do that but so too is tweaking or adding to your fitness routine. Maybe the idea of creating a whole new training program excites you and is in your wheelhouse already. Start there. Then, once you’ve built momentum in that aspect of your goal, you could start making some small diet changes, one at a time.
Here’s another example: You want to be in a romantic relationship but the idea of getting on a dating app is intimidating and unnerving. However, you have a circle of close friends who support you and don’t yet know how serious you are about this goal. Let them in on it and you may be surprised at how many friend’s friend’s friends end up being potential matches for you—no apps required.
Whatever your strengths are, determine how you can now use them to help you with creating that first step of change.
Strengthen your “ask” muscle.
Let’s take a real life Goldman Sachs analyst’s story as an example. They say that they want to take their experience and become an entrepreneur and start a beauty business. But, they’re not making any progress. It’s when you ask them who in their vicinity they’ve asked for help that the lightbulb goes off: “It’s like, ‘oh, I know this person and that person,’” says Klay. “And clearly the arsenal is right there.”
When he questions why they haven’t tapped into that pool of resources, they say they’re afraid to ask for help because they don’t want to seem vulnerable or like they don’t know it all. “What I always say is you have to strengthen your inner ask muscle.” To do that, ID five different people in your resource pool and then literally put them as “asks” in your calendar. “I’m going to ask Becky about this today, I’m going to ask John about this today, I’m going to ask so-and-so about this today,” says Klay. Little by little, you’re beefing up just like you would your physical muscles. You’re just strengthening an area that has been dormant, has not been worked out before.
Unearth your fears.
Feeling unworthy, consciously or subconsciously, creates a lot of self-sabotaging tendencies towards a resistance to a breakthrough moment. “The number one thing that we have to ask ourselves is what is it that we’re fearing because self-sabotage is all about fear,” says Klay. “And usually it’s fear of not accomplishing the goal, fear of something that’s completely new, or simply feeling unworthy of that goal,” Spend some time actually thinking about this. “Once you’re able to identify what the fear is—and you say that out loud, it’s recorded, you’ve gotten it out of your system—you’re now able to move towards whatever that end goal is.”
Determine the very next step.
“You’re not trying to solve the whole thing upfront,” says Klay. “It’s what’s the first step, then the next step, then the next step.” Just keep going.
This information is for educational purposes only and is not clinical medical advice. Please consult your healthcare and mental health practitioners prior to implementing any lifestyle change.